WRECK IT JADE

Let me just start by saying I have had a terrible day. All I have wanted to do is sit down and rant. Just get everything that I am feeling out. I am having so many issues right now that I cannot even process them all correctly.

I want to talk about school first. I HATE SCHOOL. I hate everything about it. I feel so stupid. I know I'm smart, I just can't seem to get the hang of anything these days. I am mainly talking about Math. I have good grades in Public Speaking and English. I just burnt my entire mouth on hot soup. CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?!? But, back to math, I took PreCalculus my senior year and passed with a freaking B. Then I go and take my placement test for community college and completely fail the math part. I was/am so embarrassed. I guess I got so caught up in doing all that complicated math that I forgot how to do easy math. I thought once I got in the class it would be like a review and I could breeze on through. That is definitely not the case. I am doing absolutely terrible. I try the homework and get every single flipping question wrong. It's like no matter how hard I try I just can't get it right. So, I finally decided I needed some help that my teacher obviously wasn't going to give me. I called my friend, Shelley, who is a math genius and I have been working with her. After working with her everything started to make sense and I thought I finally had the hang of it. The next Tuesday I went to take a Mid Module Quiz. I was really relieved at how easy it was, I thought for sure I was going to pass with an 85 or higher. When I clicked submit it showed me my grade, 40. WHO MAKES A 40 ON SOMETHING THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE DOING RIGHT?!?! So of course, my sorry ass teacher decides to go over everything with me and he starts telling me everything I'm doing wrong and made me feel like crap. So I started crying and left school. WHAT A BABY. I'M IN COLLEGE. COLLEGE GIRLS DON'T CRY!!!! I still had two classes left that day, but I went home and cried and went back to sleep. I haven't been back to class since. I have missed 3 consecutive days in math. I'm lucky attendance doesn't count in that class. I have decided it is time for me to put my big girl panties on and just deal with it. I'm going to study my ass off so that I can get done with this class ASAP. If I have to do math for an hour every day to finish and understand, I WILL. I will also add that it is very hard to get up and do math at 7:25 A.M.

The next thing I can't seem to stop feeling so guilty about is eating right and exercising. I know I'm not fat, but I have definitely been gaining weight. My problem is I go for whatever is convenient, not what is good for me. Which usually mean I eat fast food all the time. Not only is that hurting my body, it's hurting my wallet. I just can't seem to stick with any certain routine. My dad bought me Zumba Fitness Core for the Kinect as an early birthday present because he knew I loved it but never have time to go to classes. I was super excited when he bought it because I figured it would make me want to workout and get active. The problem is the dances are REALLY hard. I can't keep up with the song long enough to even get a workout. I mean yeah, my heart is about to pound out of my chest, but thats about it. I'm never sore the next day like I usually am or anything, so I know I'm doing something wrong. Hopefully I will get the hang of it sooner or later instead of just giving up when I get frustrated.

I have noticed that I am a quitter. When something doesn't go my way or isn't easy enough for me, I quit. I don't know why that is. I guess I would rather stop halfway or not even start at all because I'm so afraid of finishing and being a failure.

I'm also a worrier. I worry about every damn thing under the sun. Why? Who even knows. Anytime I think about transferring the UNCC and actually starting to become a Dietician/ Nutritionist I start stressing out. I get so worried that it's going to be really hard and I'm just going to give up like I do with everything else. This is so much more serious than a stupid art project though, so I really hope I take it seriously.

I need to practice on focusing on the future and how awesome it will be when I finally have a college degree. If I keep my eyes set on the prize, it will all be worth it. Sometimes I wish someone would just grab me by the face and be like, "JADE, CHILL OUT! GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU!"

I had other things I wanted to talk about but I will save them for next time!

Hey Jade, where have you been?

I haven't blogged in so long. I am truly disappointed in myself for putting this off this long. I have been incredibly busy here lately. I have another new job, school, and tons of other things to juggle.

So much has happened since I last blogged that I do not even know where to begin. I guess I will start with school! The last time I wrote was the night before my first day of college. The first day was incredibly easy because I had one class from 12-1:20! The next day was a little harder because I was in classes from 7:25 A.M. -12:03 P.M.! I really like all of my classes. Honestly, they are all a whole lot easier than I expected them to be! Part of me wishes I went off to college instead of going to community college. I guess the only reason I feel that way is because I hate going to school with the same people I went to high school with. I was actually shocked at the amount of students from my high school that decided to go to community college. I guess money really is tight these days!

Now, onto the job situation! I no longer work at the restaurant that I was so eager to get a job at. I worked there for about a month and decided to start looking for another job because it just wasn't working out. Before I even started the search, Walgreens contacted me. I had applied there before I ever even got the job at the restaurant. They asked me to come in for an interview. About a week later they asked me to come back in. I assumed it was for a second interview so I didn't get super excited. To my surprise, I got the job right then and there! It was awesome. I've been working there ever since and I absolutely love it! It worked out perfect considering that I am hoping to become a pharmacist in the near future.

It is now time to talk about my perfect boyfriend! I could not have asked for a better guy than Chad. He is everything I have ever dreamed of. He just gets me. It is so nice to be with someone who doesn't think I am weird or super awkward. He laughs at my jokes even when they aren't funny. I can't tell you how good that makes me feel. He's silly and likes to joke around with me. He makes me feel like my problems are important because he listens when I am upset. He is constantly encouraging me about my photography. He loves the fact that I am so artsy and creative and likes to help with all my little projects! Basically I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

The past few days I have been taking my miniature schnauzer, Apple, to the park. She hates the ride but has a great time once we are there! She is usually really lazy, but when we go to the park she runs so fast that I have to jog to keep up with her! Today we jogged a 5k. I felt great afterwards, which is saying a lot because I have been feeling really crappy here lately. This is mainly because I am starting to gain some weight and am not nearly as active as I was in high school. It is hard for me to look at pictures of myself now because I am so disgusted at the change. I know that nothing will change until I start doing something about it, but it's hard to motivate yourself to get up and get active when you are already so down. I am going to try and make it a point to be active in some way every day from now on. I also want to start eating better. Eating fast food is not only hurting my wallet, it's hurting my body.

Until next time, guys! (:

SO BUSY!!

Whoa, so much is going on this week it is crazy. I can barely hold my eyes open to type this blog, but I know I won't be able to sleep until I write it.

Yesterday, I finally got a job! It was actually kind of weird how it happened. I had been to this particular restaurant a few weeks ago about a job and was told to come back when I figured out whether or not I could get all my classes in the morning.  I got all my classes scheduled to where I would be done with class every day no later than 2 p.m. Which made me very hopeful that I could get the job. On my way to the restaurant I prayed harder than I have in a long time (I know, it's sad). I basically just asked God to please get me this job. The whole way there I was pep-talking myself. I kept saying, "You're going to walk in there and get that job! That's all there is to it! I'm gonna get this job!" I guess I really convinced myself because when I walked in the manager remembered exactly who I was and told me I got the job and that I would start Tuesday.

After that I went and purchased all my textbooks and a new calculator for my classes! I could not believe the line! I waited in line for almost an hour. I am so lucky to have financial aid as well. My total was $609.48! I have no idea how I would have afforded that without financial aid!

I also spent the entire day with my amazing boyfriend, Chad, yesterday! I always have a great time with him no matter what we do. I love how I can just lay around and be lazy and watch tv with him and not get bored. The funniest/weirdest thing that keeps happening when we hang out is that I will be thinking something and then he will say what I'm thinking out loud. I have to think, "Wait, did I say that out loud?" We grilled out hotdogs and hamburgers at 9 o'clock last night. It was pretty hilarious. I had to hold a flashlight over the grill so he could see what he was doing and when the food was ready.

Needless to say, I had such a good day yesterday! (:

Now for today!

Today I did some senior pictures for a really good friend of mine. It was quite the fiasco. Mainly because it was so hot out and we did them at the wrong time of the day so the sun was really harsh. I just finished editing them and I am actually very pleased with how they turned out! I hadn't got to use my MacBook to edit pictures yet so I was pretty impressed with iPhoto!

Tomorrow is the first day of college for me. I am so nervous it's not even funny. Even though I am SO tired and feel like I can't hold my eyes open a second longer, as soon as the lights go off I will be wide awake. It always happens that way! I guess it's not that big of a deal since my class doesn't start until 12 p.m.

Until next time, guys! <3

Excuse Me While I Vent

Hey guys! I don't think it has been that long since I've written but I felt the urge to blog, so here I am! Not much has changed since I last wrote. Still jobless.

When I quit my job I was really excited about having free time to finally do all the things I had been putting off. I honestly don't think I've done a single one of those things that I set out to do on my first day of being without a job. I had planned on finishing hanging up all of those origami cranes. Currently those cranes are still sitting in the same spot as the picture that I added to one of my previous posts. I also planned to complete a white paper lantern I have sitting on my cheetah chair. I started covering this lantern in tiki umbrellas over 6 months ago. I am so tired of looking at it. I have no idea why I haven't finished it yet. There are a gazillion more projects I have half started but those are just some examples.

I am starting to go stir crazy sitting around my house all day. I feel trapped. I have no money to put gas in my car which means I can't go anywhere or do anything. I am hoping that I can get a job ASAP. I cannot go without a job more than a month. Mostly because I don't want Chad to be able to tell me "I told you so!" I know that's silly but I'm trying to use it as an incentive ;)

I took my placement test for community college this past Tuesday. It made me pretty excited about school starting back up. You're probably thinking "Someone actually wants to go back to school?!?" Yes, I'm that girl. I get excited when school first starts because you get to show off all your cute new clothes and all the cool hairstyles Pinterest taught you over the summer! I have an appointment next Thursday to get my scores and register for my classes!

Speaking of Pinterest, I have learned soooo many cool things this summer from it. One day I'll have to document them all and post them on a blog (:

I plan on starting some self portraits next week! I'll definitely have to upload them and then maybe give a few pointers to anyone interested in taking self portraits!

Until next time, guys!

Time for a Change

A ton has changed since I last blogged. For the most part they have all been good changes, so no complaints here! (;

I guess I'll start way back at the beginning of the month! As you guys know, I have an amazing boyfriend, Chad, who I absolutely love to spend time with. So of course I spent the Fourth of July with him! Chad, his best friend John Mike, and I went to Myrtle Beach for what seemed like three days. We were actually only there for one full day. The trip wasn't very organized at all so we had quite a few complications. Overall, it was a great trip! I wouldn't change anything about it. Well, maybe I would change where we stayed!

My Aunt & Uncle threw me an awesome graduation shindig on the 7th! I had a lot of fun. My whole family came and so did a few close friends. One of my best friends, Sarah, and I made a photo booth for the party. It was super legit. It would have been even more legit if we could have finished the original background. I ended up running out of sequins the day before the party and everywhere I went was sold out. So we opted to buy a $2 sheet from Goodwill. They turned out really awesome! I found all the props online. They were mostly on Pinterest and Tumblr. 

Lastly, I quit my job. So I am officially unemployed. Which actually really scares me. But, I know of quite a few places hiring and I plan on getting another job ASAP.

Also, I have decided that I am no longer going to let everyone else make my decisions for me. If I do that I probably won't like where I end up. I'm tired of people trying to tell me what to go to school for and what field is going to make me the most money. I WANT TO DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY!!! Is that too much to ask? I would love for someone to just listen to what I have to say and tell me that it sounds like an awesome plan and that they know I will do great!

Best Week EVER! :)

I have seriously had the best week of my life! I have spent every day with my amazing boyfriend doing completely awesome, random things! I couldn't be happier!

As I said in my last blog, I made the swing! It was actually a lot easier than I had planned on it being. Maybe because I watched Chad do all the work. Haha. I ended up having pretty much everything I needed right at home. The only things missing were the string and the spray paint.

I had a lot more to say when I started this but now I can't think of anything else to say :/
Until next time guys! <3

Time to Play Catch Up

I have this terrible bug bite on my hand that keeps distracting me from typing because it itches so bad.

Anyways, I haven't wrote in what seems like forever! It's time to play catch up.

The most important thing is that my best friend in the entire world had shunt surgery on June 12. She is doing absolutely fantastic! It is so obvious in her face that she feels better. Her old personality is coming out and she is always wanting to do something. I can't even begin to explain how happy it makes me to see her finally feeling better and being able to do whatever she wants!

I have been graduated from high school for 15 days and havent done a single thing different. Unless sleeping in later counts! I had planned to do one DIY a day for the entire summer. That obviously never got started! I am determined to get back in the groove of things. I miss photography, sewing, and doing random crafty things. All I do now is sit on Pinterest all day and come up with ideas that I never actually finish.

This week I plan on doing a re-purpose! I'm going to turn a broken kitchen chair into a swing for my backyard. I'm probably going to paint it bright yellow or lime green. It's going to be pretty sweeeeet. I'll definitely document it so that I can blog all about it!

Also today, I went from being single to taken(:

I Have A Lot To Say

I think my capitalization may not be correct above, but oh well. I literally have so much to say right now that I might explode. The problem is, most of this stuff is too confidential to say on the WWW. Especially since I know some people in particular read my blog.

Let's start with the lighter things. My best friend in the entire world had another surgery today. They went in and put a shunt in. Her surgeon was a little behind but she finally got sent back. After about 3 1/2 hours she was out! Everything went really well. She was awake and in very little pain afterwards. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. She texted me for a little while and then told me she was going to catch some sleep. I don't blame her!

I went shopping today. I had a great time! I went looking for a "baseball tee." I never found one. I guess you could say I wasn't looking that hard. I ended up buying a pretty cute dress at American Eagle.

Also, have you ever known someone for a pretty good while and then suddenly realize you don't know them at all? It's like a slap in the face. You wonder if you were the one just not noticing things or if the other person is just truly that messed up. Like is it really an issue or is it just for attention? Sorry that I am being so vague. I really wanted to talk about this but didn't know how to without making it super obvious.

On a different note, there is this huge storm that has been coming and going the whole night. If you know me at all, you know that I absolutely HATE storms. They make me uncomfortable and nervous. I don't like feeling unsafe and vulnerable. I'm ready for it to go away so I can attempt to get some sleep.

Usually, this blog makes me feel better, tonight it just made me feel worse. It got me thinking WAY too much.

One last thing, the people of Rowan County lost a very special person today. Jonah King was an amazing person. He will be forever missed. I still can't believe he is really gone. I keep replaying the last few times I saw him over and over in my head. You really never realize how important someone is to you until you've lost them. I can't help but wonder if this storm has anything to do with him. I know that is silly, but it's how I feel. RIP Jonah. You are Forever Young <3

The Day After

I finally made it! I have graduated high school. It was great while it lasted, but I can honestly say I'm glad it is over.

The day started out crazy. I had set the alarm the night before for 5:15 a.m. I had turned my phone on the loudest setting so that I would definitely wake up. Needless to say, my phone started going crazy at 5:29 a.m. because my best friends mom was writing on my Facebook wall. I had set the alarm for week day instead of weekend. So without Kelly, I probably would have never made it to graduation to begin with.

My homeroom teacher made my whole class breakfast. It was delicious. We had grits, doughnuts, grapes, miniature muffins and some Hawaiian Punch!

The ceremony itself was not that bad. It wasn't entirely too hot since it was only 8 a.m. It actually went by a lot faster than I was expecting to. I got really nervous walking across the stage and shaking all of those hands. Most of us were given a marble by a fellow student to give to our principal, Dr. Durant. I had every intention of handing him that marble when I shook his hand, but I got really psyched out at the last second and thought, "What if I'm the only one who actually gives him one?" So, I didn't give it to him.

After the ceremony my best friend and I walked to the courtyard and sat down somewhere to wait for our families to find us. Her family found us first. We all took lots of pictures and shared a lot of laughs. I was starting to get worried that my family hadn't found me yet. My dad doesn't have a cell phone so I had no way of contacting him and my brother. I finally decided to call my house phone to see if they had went home. Of course, my dad answered the phone and said that he had completely forgotten to stay for pictures. He also informed me that my mother never showed up. I hadn't expected her to, but it still hurt that my own mother didn't come to my high school graduation.

I ended up leaving after I realized none of my family was there. When I got home I cried and yelled at my dad a whole lot. He apologized like a million times and told me that he was taking my brother and I out to eat at this really good Chinese buffet in Salisbury. That was really all it took to put me in a good mood.

Lunch was great and we all had a really good time. We tipped the sushi bar guy and he was so happy that we did that he made us a special plate. It was amazing!

My best friend had her graduation party that afternoon. It was a really good turn out. A lot of people came and the food was great. I'm a really big fan of food so of course I HAD to comment on it. Haha.

I honestly could not have asked for a better day. It was truly amazing!

Tomorrow is the Big Day!

So, I graduate high school tomorrow at 8 a.m. Can I tell you how incredibly nervous/excited for this I am? I have been waiting for this since the first day of Freshman year. I was one of those people who just really didn't enjoy school. Looking back on it now, I wish I had been a lot more involved. If I had been more involved I might have a lot more friends and actually enjoyed it. Actually, that last statement probably isn't true because I'm so "mean."

Anyways, I went and got my hair colored today and passed out tickets to my family. My hair looks SO much better. The only thing that makes me sad is that it's about an inch shorter. But, that's my own fault for not keeping up with trims regularly. I would post a picture but I never took one and no longer have makeup on now. Haha.

I had a fairly uneventful day. I don't really have any stories that are super funny. Well, actually, I had a lady call up to my job tonight and tell me that she wanted the shrimp fillet. I almost died! It was everything I could do to stay professional. I politely replied, "Baby or fantail?" Sofia and I laughed a good five minutes after I got off the phone.

Now, I'm sitting here in my bed trying so hard to make myself tired and it just is not working. I'm WAY too excited. I'm so scared I'm going to trip or do something stupid. I'm such a klutz. It sounds just like me to do something like that.

Another thing that's sad about the whole situation is that I couldn't even find enough people to give all my tickets to. We were each given ten tickets this morning at graduation practice. My principal announced that anyone who needed more could come up to the stage after the practice was over to receive more. I honestly didn't think that many people would go up there. Ten seems like a lot to me. I'm telling you over half of my senior class practically ran onto that stage to get more tickets. I'm sitting here in my bedroom with two extra tickets wondering who in the world I could give them to.

I will definitely post picture of graduation tomorrow and write all about it! :)

Can't Catch a Break

I have seriously had one of the worst days ever today. I don't even know where to begin. I guess it started with my night last night. But, the majority of it is entirely too personal to put up on the WWW.

Anyways, despite my terrible night/day I was certainly very creative today! I went to Hobby Lobby with a good friend of mine and bought origami paper. I also bought two more stained glass bottles to add to my collection. I normally would have walked right past them because they are usually marked pretty high, but today I decided to stop and admire. After I had found two amazing bottles, I couldn't justify buying them. I kept saying things like, "But where am I going to put them?" and "I guess I don't really need them, I need to save money." Then my friend looked up and said, "Hey, Jade, you know these are all half off right?" I died and went to heaven right there in Hobby Lobby. I grabbed them both and practically ran to the cash register and said, "We HAVE to get out of here before I buy ten million more things!"

When I got home, I had every intention of starting a new origami crane project. I sat down at the dining room table and took out all my purchases. Then I ran to put the glass bottles somewhere in my room and to grab my computer so I could pull up YouTube and refresh my memory on how to make the cranes. Upon arriving back at the dining room table my younger brother had sat down at the table. He seemed really down so I asked him what was up. Turns out we both had similar problems today. We decided to go out to eat at a Japanese place called Katana. We had loads of fun and ended up knowing exactly what to say to each other. He is seriously the best brother I could ask for.

Back at home, my dad was frantically searching for my brother because I had forgotten to leave a note saying that he was with me. So, of course, I got the "you-need-to-be-more-responsible" talk from Dad. I was almost positive I was going to be in trouble for the rest of the night because of that. But, he proceeded to tell me that he was going to let me move into the room that we added onto our house, after graduation this saturday. I was ecstatic. I have been asking for this for almost two years now. He said that it was only fair because it was more secluded and private.

You'd think that would have turned my whole night around, but it didn't. I sat back down at the dining room table and started making the origami cranes. I ended up making like 11 or 12 of them. I really enjoyed it but my hands started to cramp up. I just happened to look up at the clock and see that it was 8:15ish and got excited because Pretty Little Liars was coming on at 9. Needless to say, I got on Twitter and realized that it actually started at 8.

So, that brings us to now. I was like, "What can I do to waste an hour of my time?" I immediately thought of my blog. Mainly because I feel guilty that I didn't blog yesterday.

Here are a few pictures of my cranes and bottles! :)

The newest ones are the yellow one on the left and the turquoise on the right.

Yay for cranes!

This one ended up being my favorite!

I bet you're wondering what in world I am going to do with all those cranes. Well, here's your answer. I stole the idea from a really good friend of mine, Sarah. I went to her house one day and in her dining room she had a bunch of cute little origami cranes hanging. So, the idea is that when I move into the new room I'm going to hang 1,000 from the ceiling. I know what you're thinking, "Jade, a thousand cranes! Are you sure about that?!?" Yes, I'm sure! This is why: There's a little Japanese/Chinese saying that if you make 1,000 cranes that your wish will come true. I have a pretty big wish and I want it to come true. I know that's cheesy, but hey, it might work ;)

I Never Know What to Title These

So, I finished the third Hunger Games book today. I was extremely disappointed. I guess I just had really high expectations as to how it would end. I am glad that she ended up with Peeta in the end. I think I was Team Peeta all along, but it just took me a while to realize it. I was so stunned by the way it ended that I walked around work like a zombie for the first hour. I'm usually really upbeat and all over the place at work so it really threw some of my co-workers for a loop.

After work today I spent the entire afternoon with my Mimi. Her condo place has a pretty nice pool that no one ever visits. I guess you could say it's mostly because she lives with a ton of old people. Across the way from her are a few Catawba students, but I think they're the youngest in the whole place. Anyways, back to the pool. We were the only people there from 4:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. It was so nice. We spent the afternoon talking about the future and my plans for college. It was really good to finally spend some quality time with her.

The sun was going down so we decided to go in and decide what to do for dinner. We ended up getting Osaka and watching Fried Green Tomatoes. That's one of our three favorite movies. The other two are Ever After and The Titanic. We cried like babies. To make matters worse, we watched The Time Traveler's Wife right after that. Needless to say, I'm a wreck right now!

Unfortunately, I have no creative endeavors to update you on. I've been pretty boring here lately. Tomorrow I am supposed to complete Operation Destroy Your Sewing Machine with my friend, Jesse. So I'm sure I will blog all about it and add lots of pictures! :)

Finally Getting Back in My Groove

Today, I got to take take some senior pictures for a really good friend of mine. It felt so nice to finally be doing what I love again. I've been so busy with school and work that I haven't had the opportunity to get out and take any pictures. The majority of the "photography" I do now is taken from my iPhone and uploaded to Instagram. I hardly ever get to used my fancy Nikon D40 anymore!

We had planned on going to a local park to take lots of scenic photos. When we got there, there was a huge wedding going on. We thought we could work around it so we decided to park and try it out. Needless to say, we got right back in the car.

We ended up using this pretty big corn field out behind my house. The pictures all turned out really well. I was very pleased with them. I was even more excited and relieved because the majority of them didn't need hardly any editing done.